Butters and I got to have a special treat-a morning to ourselves.
We met friends at the Farm Tots program at South 47 farm. It was wonderful (reminiscent) having time with just my boy, my bud. And, much easier to help him use the port-o-potty without a baby on my hip. But, in the back of my mind was the bad news.
The MRI shows residual tumor touching the skull bone, all of it has to be removed including the bone. There are two ways to get to it, and we aren't really comfortable with how they want to get to it. So we are hoping pioneering doctors will take our case in Pittsburgh and we'll take a trip there and take care of it. I was hoping they were in Maui, but Pittsburgh in July sounds fantastic! I'll be closer to my family and it feels like the right thing to do.
I told T I catch myself feeling happy sometimes, and I feel guilty and he said that was ridiculous, he wants to be happy, life should be happy, we shouldn't sit around feeling sad. So, I'm trying to keep the summer as fun for Butters as possible and as normal, but he hears everything so I'm not sure how that's going on his end.
I visited my midwives today as we were in the neighborhood and I got the best hug from Valerie. I told her how empowered and wonderful my birth was and I thanked her for taking care of us. I gave her this wash cloth and a pair of hand warmers. (The washcloth is how long it takes to drive Olympia and back!) She told me it was the nicest thing someone had said and it made her feel good. All the emails and calls and talks with people have been helping us feel better and it was great to give that feeling back to someone.