...with this job is that if I mess up, then someone turns out to be an ax murderer! I mean think about it, when you hear about school shootings, it's always, 'where were the parents?"
I can be too hard on myself. At the end of every day, I think about things I should have done differently or ways I should have behaved better. I never did that when it was data entry! I went home, I went out. No one ends up a complete mess if I screwed up a database, messed up a protest, forgot to dump a toilet bucket. Today, I tried to be a more fun mom and just let things go, b/c Butters really reacts how I react. If I react strongly, he's comes back with even more. So, I tried to not let the little things bug me. "Hey buddy, can you not chew on the couch. You don't see mama biting the coach, do you?" But, I still ended up snapping a little and yelling. I think it's time to switch to tea and yoga. Coffee and knitting clearly aren't working.
Actually, I know what the problem is, it's been too long since I've been with my peeps. My family, my old friends. Luckily, Grandma Sue is on her way. I was debating about the 6 hour flight, solo w/ 2 kids. Time is too short, money for the flight isn't as important, it's time to see my family. I'm appreciating the little things, the baby smiles constantly, so that helps. Butters has a great imagination and tells me the best stories. I'm trying to enjoy the moment.
I will enjoy the moment.